Crazy & Loved-->Single Mommy of 3 Under 5

Family Love

2010-01-31T21:14:00.000-05:00

I spend so much time during most days fussing with the kids, fussing with my mama, or just being upset about something (no I'm not depressed or a sad person, just seems like I'm always arguing with someone) that I never really take the time to look at how blessed I really am & how happy I really am!

Sometimes days go by without the thought crossing my mind of how much of a blessing each one of my children are..& when it finally does come to mind I guilt myself into feeling like a bad mother because I don't cherish the time I have with my children more!!

I know as a stay at home mother (currently) I am so blessed because I have the ability to see my children all day & interact with them all the day! I really would not have it any other way, but life has dealt me another hand of cards from the ones I originally got dealt & now our lives have completely changed...I dread going to work, not because I don't want to or can't or because I'm lazy...but because I will miss my babies!! I cry as I sit here & read this, because it wasn't supposed to be this way, I was supposed to stay home with them & raise them, not someone else (mind you my mother will take wonderful care of my children & if I have to go to work I would not want anyone else watching them) but its not the same as me being here!

I know that in time, they will become closer to her than me, because they will see her more & I can't help but be jealous of her...not because I want my children to have less of a relationship, because they need all the love they can get seeing that she is their ONLY grandmother! Its just that I don't want to miss a thing, I know that I am going to miss Ethan walking, Austin riding his bike without training wheels, laughs, tears & so much more & that just breaks my heart to no end!

What to do? I had my life planned out just the way I had expected for it to go & yet look at me now...nowhere near where I thought it would be, by any means of the definition!

What do you think about it? What would you do? How would you feel?

Tell me I want to know!!

Story Line Saturday's

2010-01-31T11:37:00.000-05:00

TOYOTA: DOMESTIC VS. FOREIGN

Okay I just had to make this post on Toyota since it has overwhelmed the media and so many people buy FOREIGN that I just to because I am all the way DOMESTIC!

I am not going to say much in the way of buying 'Foreign' except I TOLD YOU SO!! All the people who have bought 'Foreign' & thought it was so much BETTER than 'Domestic' can CLEARLY see now that the rain is gone...that they are NOT!!

Will you buy DOMESTIC now? How do you feel about this HUGE recall & safety problem? How do you feel about the company knowing about this problem for years, yet doing nothing to resolve until now? I am going to post 2 pictures: 1 of a Toyota Tundra & 1 of a Chevy Silverado Crew Cab...personally I know which one looks better & safer so my pic is the Chevy. What do you think?

Toyota Tundra

Cheverolet Silverado

Friday Follow

2010-01-30T09:54:00.001-05:00

Okay so I am a day late, but I thought I would go ahead and post it so I would have it for next Friday...for all of you women who need more followers for you blog for whatever reason...I am joining in on the fun of "Friday Follow."

Here's how YOU can join the celebration:

    * * Link up your blog name and URL using the MckLinky below. Only need to add to one blog linky.
    * * Follow the Friday Follow hostesses listed in the first 3 slots. We will follow you back.
    * * Follow as many blogs as you like
    * * Comment on the blogs telling them you're from Friday Follow
    * * Follow back when you get a new follower through Friday Follow

Now I do recommend passing this on to your current followers on your blog, Twitter, Facebook, or any other networking site where you are a member...this process will get everyone coming back & eventually get you the followers of everyone who visits!! I hope to make this a successful event.

New Territory

2010-01-29T20:27:00.000-05:00

As many of you know I am a NEW single mother who was previously a stay at home mother. Now even though these two may not seem very different when you say them, let me tell you they are! Right now I seem comfortable where I am, because we are staying with my mother, I don't work, I'm going to school...all and all someone else is keeping us up (let me tell you that just stabs my pride right in the bulls eye when I say that)!

I want a life for myself & my children more than I can ever explain but life without a partner is so scary that I am actually fearful of getting out on my own. Now I do have a plan, that when I finish school or at least finish this first year (I will have my AABA at that point) try to obtain gainful employment & make a home elsewhere for myself & my children...I do plan on my mother moving in with us where I can take care of her needs as she has done for us.

Although most people would ~~think~~ crave independence, I am fearing it again! I do enjoy privacy (something that I NEVER get here) & would definitely enjoy having my own home & decorating my children's rooms...that is a very daunting task! Being on my own ALL the time, never having anyone around except the kids (who by the way don't do very much for me in the way of adult conversation) just makes me want to live with my mother forever.

Now don't get me wrong for one minute my mother & I have such similar personalities that we are each others throats constantly. We love one another & would walk the earth for each other, but I just can't seem to find a place in my head where I don't want her included.

Yes I want love again, yes I want a relationship again...but honestly living with her is so much easier than living with any man! If we have a disagreement we argue, then move on...its over, we've said our peace!

Does this make me so childish, lazy, immature, dependent to say or feel these things? Should I just grow up & move on? I mean living the way I had with my ex- for the last 5 years (today was our anniversary actually) was horrible, I tried & tried but it just never got any better.

How do you feel about this? Should I just grow up & move out? Am I immature or lazy for feeling this way? How would you feel? Have you been in my shoes? What were your feelings? Really tell me!!

Thumbs Down Thursday

2010-01-29T13:46:00.000-05:00

Made you look didn't I ;)

Okay 'Thumbs Down Thursday' is gonna be the one day a week I give a THUMBS DOWN to the one thing this week that has bothered me the most & after today I am going to try to move forward from it (yes I know I'm a day late, but school got in the way last night).

My 'THUMBS DOWN' for Thursday this week would be "sleep deprivation from breastfeeding!"

While I believe breastfeeding is the best thing for children, I do ~~believe~~ know that there are many downfalls to it as well. Let me give you a list below:

Breastmilk is digest faster than formula, therefore causing a breastfed baby to want to nurse more often.
Most *strangers (ie. people who you are not related to or are not friends with) feel ~~quite~~ very uncomfortable around you when you are nursing, even when you're covered!
Breastfed babies are more ~~attached~~ clingy than formula-bottle fed babies (well at least mine was).
Breastfed babies like to you use as a way to ~~calm~~ pacify themselves.
It takes forever (plus a lot of pain from engorged breasts) to wean a child off of the breast, therefore resulting in more ~~sleep deprivation~~ night of the living dead episodes.

While this may seem like I am making 'light' of the subject I am very serious!

With 3 children, full time school, nursing, & caring for a house....DOES NOT make for a very happy mommy!

Okay comment time did you or do you nurse? Even if you enjoyed it very much what was the one thing (& don't tell me there was not one thing) that bothered you or annoyed you the most about breastfeeding/nursing? Would you change your nursing experience because of that one thing? Why or why not?

Word of the Day Wednesday

2010-01-28T10:10:00.000-05:00

I know I'm a day late, but found this article with my word, & even though it is NOT new word, it is one that in this context I think makes a HUGE point for celebrities & us 'normal' people.

EXHAUSTION : which according to Merriam-Webster this means to tire extremely or completely.

The article I am referring to can be found here Hollywood's new code word: "Exhaustion" and it refers to celebrities use of the word 'exhaustion' as a means of getting hospitalized, getting out of work, and what else? Denying the fact that they have an alcohol or substance abuse problem?! *Shocker right!

I am absolutely disgusted at celebrities use of this word, like they would actually know what doing a hard day's labor consists of. Until you have worked 2 jobs (on the same day), clean a house, cared for 3 kids, & cooked dinner... all after having only about 4 hours of sleep "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EXHAUSTION IS!"

Can anyone else relate with me on fury that swells within me when someone who has EVERYTHING acts as if they know what it's like to be 'so tired that they are exhausted?"

The article states they have armies of 'helpers' to get them through these EXHAUSTING days here are the helpers: assistants, cooks, drivers, dog walkers, maids, manicurists, facialists, eyebrow shapers, hairstylists, makeup artists, clothing stylists, managers, publicists, agents, accountants.

I think personally if I had THAT many people to cater to my every whim I would never be exhausted, I mean honestly you could even hire someone to chew your food for you if you wanted, lol!!

Okay now it's time to tell me what you think...How do you feel about celebrities using the word 'exhaustion' ? Do you think they are using in context or just to hide something like alcohol or substance abuse? What are your thoughts?

Guest Blog Post/March 4th...Finances & Clutter

2010-01-26T21:59:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to be announcing that I will be having my first guest blog post on Thursday March 4th, 2010. My guest blogger will be Jamie Novak a multiple best selling author. She's been on HGTV's Mission:Organization, an expert organizer for NBC's iVillage and represented industry leaders such as Brother P-Touch and Febreze for Proctor and Gamble.

Jamie's topics relate to saving money, time, and clearing clutter for families, children, seniors, businesses, home offices, and teachers. She also writes a blog at http://www.jamienovak.com/blog.html covering many if not most of the subjects I just stated.

So if you have a closet, a drawer, desk, office, room, or just a box that needs to be uncluttered, please stop by on Thursday March 4th, 2010 for Jamie Novak's guest blog post!! Spread the word!!

Post It Note Tuesday

2010-01-26T17:09:00.000-05:00

Movie Monday's--> 'The Boy in the Striped Pajamas'

2010-01-25T21:48:00.003-05:00

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

This movie was one of the most touching movie I have seen in years & let me promise you it takes a lot to reach me with a movie. The last movie I watched that was based on historical events was Titanic. I believe that movies based on historical events, whether completely real or only in part are very intriguing. It almost takes me to that time in our world, when things seemed so unbalanced for some, yet so in-tuned for others.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is based out of WWII in Germany during the Holocaust. I am an avid fan (not to say I approve of this happening by any means, but that I enjoy learning about it) of that period and the events that took place. My heart aches every time I think of the horrible things those people went through, just because of one 'ignorant' man and his 'unintelligent' thinking. This book is based on a best selling novel by 'John Boyne,' the son (Bruno) of a Nazi officer is moved just outside of a concentration camp, yet he at the young and tender age of 8 knows nothing of the horrors going on in his backyard. He befriends a young boy his age, living inside the concentration camp and from that point your heart just aches for what grows into such loving, compassionate innocence.

I will not tell you anymore, but I will ENCOURAGE you to watch this movie. I think this movie could be a wonderful conversation starter for any party, family get together, or a way to introduce your older child to some compassionate, forgiving, unconditional love from a friend.

I have cried over many movies, but this movie just tugged at my heart string more than I can say. You will truly feel as if you are walking in the shoes of each and every character in this movie. Bruno's sister is the complete opposite of him, she knows of the war and what is happening and she even wants to follow in the footsteps of girls portrayed in the media. Its absolutely heart wrenching to think that the outcome of this movie could have ever happened, but I truly believe this is an eye opener for all forms of racism. This movie helped me to remember that we are ALL created equal in the eyes of God, therefore we should treat one another as if love is the only thing holding us together, and without it we can NOT go on.

GO SEE THIS MOVIE OR RENT IT!!

What We've Been Up To

2010-01-24T21:24:00.000-05:00

I haven't really given you much of what we've been doing lately, well Monday of last week mama & myself took the kids & went to the zoo. It was beautiful! Almost 70 degrees here, we took the stroller & put E in it, then rented one from the zoo for B & of course we made A walk, lol! Here are some pictures of that...

Austin standing by the Pin Flamingo's , he thought they were cool because they can stand on one foot & not fall over...he's still working on that!

Brooke riding on the Merry-Go-Round on her manatee...she tried & tried to say that word but it never came out right...gotta love her 2 1/2 year old talk!

Ethan enjoying his stroller ride in the warm sun! He took so many naps that day & loved looking at the animals.

All 3 kids & myself...check out each of their faces its funny how they are all looking differently!

Mama & all 3 kids...she enjoyed spending the day with us @ the zoo!

Saturday we spent the day with daddy & S-mom...we went to McDonald's & Walmart...I enjoyed having the 'old' daddy back, he was an absolute riot!! I didn't realize how much I missed him & I'm so grateful he's back!

Ethan looks so much like him! I'm loving having my daddy back & I think he's glad to be back!!

Love it! That's my mini me & my daddy...I think the uncanny resemblance makes it so easy for them to get along.

She kept saying 'Paw, you hungry? Here eat this!" She's concentrating so hard on him getting her fingers, lol!

I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world, regardless of how hectic it is every day! I cherish these memories for everything they are worth, the good & the bad. I know some women just don't want to have kids, but I can NOT imagine my life without these precious blessings!

I know too, that without my mama & daddy, I would NOT be the mama that I am today or the woman! Thank you both for all you've done...not only did God bless me with 3 wonderful children, but he blessed me with such loving & wonderful parents!!

No S-mom I haven't forgotten about you, I love you too!!

Story Line Saturday's

2010-01-24T08:30:00.000-05:00

Tonight's lovely story is going to be on a well known comedian/actor 'Andy Dick'...here is the link to where I read the story to begin with http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100123/ap_on_en_ot/us_people_andy_dick

Let me first start by saying why do these celebrities think they are entitled to do whatever they want & never want to admit to their wrong doings. Andy is stunned by the allegations...what? Really so these people are just gonna make this up, for what? In the hopes that you go to jail, because they have some evil plan against you because you have wronged them somehow??

All of these celebrities who keep getting caught, yet claim to have done nothing wrong, don't want to pay for their crime, (prime example Paris Hilton)...they need to understand that just because we 'common' people are not rich & famous does not by any definition of the word makes us ignorant or unintelligent. Do they not know that we are the ones who put them where they are, make their movies best sellers, buy their merchandise, come to their appearances, spread the word of their 'greatness' (right, I'm laughing now) & help get their fame much higher because we are the audience, the ones who decide 'What's hot? What's not!'

CELEBRITIES...wake up! Get a grip on life & understand if you must be ignorant & assault someone, drive drunk, go into a club illegally, do drugs, or all together anything you think us 'common' people are the only ones doing...you will eventually get caught...you always do! You are not above the law & justice will prevail...maybe not in the time frame I am looking for, but I believe that you will get yours & I will sit back & bask in the glory that is you being punished!!

Lazy Day

2010-01-22T22:00:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those? A lazy day! One day where you know there are things to get done, but you just can't motivate yourself. I had that day today! I know that I need to be doing school right now, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I am not focused for whatever reason, (it may be the excitement of getting my Blackberry Curve 8330 tomorrow) but I just can't get motivated. Maybe tomorrow when I come home I can get on the ball, because I have to be finished by Sunday at midnight.

So what do you do when you can't get motivated or stay focused? Is there something you do to get the ball rolling, or do you just wait it out & start tomorrow? I would love to hear whatever one else has to say!

Rest for the Weary Soul

2010-01-21T20:44:00.000-05:00

I was sitting here wondering what I was going to blog about & it came to my like one of those little light bulbs that turn on over a cartoon character's head :) Rest for the Weary Soul-->that soul being a mother.

I believe that many mothers are exhausted to the point of collapsing but because of the need to go on for those families we love oh so dearly & sacrifice oh so much!

Let me first commend all you mothers who like myself go to bed well after everyone else has & rise long before anyone else see's the light of day to insure all the laundry is done, the dishes are washed, lunches are made, toys are picked up, & that life as they know it continues on just as if nothing has changed...HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

I know that we all have so much to do in order to keep sanity in our lives & the lives of our family, but we have to remember that we MUST take time out to recharge & wind down.

Now each of us has our own way to recharge & that's okay, but you must find what helps you to unwind & permanently place that into your schedule for a weekly meeting. You need at least an hour a week of absolute 'ME' time where there are no 'kids' or 'hubby' involved. Otherwise it isn't 'ME' time at all is it.

I am going to give a list of things that I think are great 'recharge' kind of activities for the Weary Souls of Motherdom:

Read a good book!
Take a walk, use your iPod or MP3 player.
Get a coffee @Starbucks!
Take a hot bath w/ some soothing music!
Go for lunch w/ a friend!

Now I'm sure there are many more you could come up w/, so go with it. Just use one each week & carve that time out for yourself.

Ever heard the saying 'If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy!' I am a firm believer of that saying & know from years of watching my mother & her mother raise children that we are the rocks of our family whether single or not & we have to stay 'recharged' for them & ourselves!

How do you recharge? Tell me what you do to get back together & how often do you do it? If you don't do it often, will you make a plan to do so? Pledge to me here & let's see!!

Word of the Day Wednesday

2010-01-20T20:38:00.000-05:00

Okay I did a lot of searching to find just the word that would make the first Word of the Day Wednesday successful & since many of my followers are mommies I thought it only suiting to use this word that I found & play on it quite nicely: MOMMY CARD

a calling card that includes a mother's name & contact information

This word & product was coined & designed by Carrie Hendrix due to the overwhelming fact that many people who are not parents or mothers (ie. father's) that being a mommy is a JOB!

Essentially this is a business card for mommies & some of them even come with ribbon snaked through them to make them stand out from the every day business card.

I do love the word, however I am not so sure on the actual use of the card or where it would be appropriate to hand these cards out. I mean you're not selling your parenting to anyone & many parents just follow their own style so they are not coming to you for advice. Plus its not like you are just going to walk up to a pregnant woman & say 'here this is my mommy card, contact me if you need my help?!'

I mean if anyone else reading this sees some benefits from this or where this could be used let me know. They (other mommies) are stating that at playgrounds, playgroups, soccer games, other family/child oriented activities you pass out your card for quick info. Okay so I'm just gonna after one conversation give a complete stranger (regardless of the fact that our kids play on the same t-ball team) my personal info?! Not so sure about that, I'm not that crazy lady that worries about everything, but come on you have to watch who you hand out your information to, right?!

Okay so here's my questions to all you mommies

Would you ever have a 'mommy card' ?
What would your 'mommy card' say about you?
Would you have some nifty design on it?
Where would you use this 'mommy card' ?
In what situation would you use this 'mommy card' (ie. meeting a new friend, business opportunity) ?

Post It Note Tuesday

2010-01-19T10:52:00.003-05:00

Starting something new so here it goes:

Movie Monday's--> 'Jennifer's Body'

2010-01-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

JENNIFER'S BODY

Okay let me start off by saying this 'Megan Fox' is an awesome actress who got herself cast into a HORRIBLE movie. You know I used to think that actors/actresses who were cast in these movies with absolutely atrocious plots or shall I say a 'lack of' a plot altogether were ignorant or better yet I would just blame it on their agent. Not the case, I just think this was absolute BAD LUCK for 'Megan Fox' !

I watched this movie a little over a week ago & let me tell you with all those trailers that I had watched over the previous weeks my hopes were clean up to the clouds at what this movie was going to do. I have been an avid horror movie genre 'fanatic' since I was like 5 years old. I've been watching Elm Street, Jason, Child's Play & any other scary movie since I was old enough to know what a movie was & have loved every minute of a good horror flick. This was my first absolute 'disgust' at a horror movie!

At first it seems as if 'Megan Fox' is this absolute B*tch who is just befriending this nerd of a girl, just to look good for everyone else. Not true they are really best friends, which seems sweet and all but she 'Megan Fox' continually verbally abuses her best friend to the point of making me want to jump through the screen & beat her face in. Then for whatever reason they go to this 'rinky dink' bar in their 'one horse town' to hear some band from the city, because 'Megan Fox' thinks they are 'salty' (not sure about the meaning of this word, maybe its something the teenagers are using today to say a guy looks good, IDK). I knew when they got in there the movie was just going down hill.

Now not to give it all away 'just in case' you decide to see this butchered version of a horror film I will not tell you any more of the story.

However, I will tell you that the plot was 'horrendous' in every meaning of the word. It was not scary, & even at the lack of it being scary it could not even be misconstrued as funny :( The writers of this movie must have had WAY TOO much time on their hands! The plot floated around, never really flowing together or connecting, you have to think too hard to make it all fit, but even then the movie is NO good.

I usually do not like saying anything bad about a horror film because I adore them so much, but I just can not let anyone waste time or money on this movie. Jennifer's Body makes you think that this is going to be some 'sex' filled movie...think again!~ Its about her body, but trust me not in a way you will ever think, and ends in a way that leaves you going, huh??

My overall rating for this film is going to be a "D" based on the apparent assumption that some effort was made to have a blockbuster film & for the actress in it!!

Story Line Saturday's

2010-01-16T22:09:00.000-05:00

Okay for all my faithful followers out there I'm going to try & bring something new to my blog, that will give me a little bit of a schedule & let you know what to look forward to each week. I will have 3 days a week set for specific topics that I will be blogging on. Here is a list of what I plan on doing:

"Movie" Monday's (this will be about the most recent movie I have watched & my review)
Tuesday
"Word" of the day Wednesday (this will be a word either currently popular or maybe one everyone does not know)
Thursday
Friday
"Story Line" Saturday's (this is going to be about a popular story line currently in the news)
Sunday

On to my Story Line Saturday's topic of the day: HAITI EARTHQUAKE

Now let me start by saying I am a very caring, compassionate, & loving person regardless of race, creed, economic status, intelligence, sex, sexual orientation, or any other stereotype that can be misconstrued as a way to discriminate someone.

I am all for helping another country in their time of need, especially when they can not at the present moment help themselves for whatever reason...but I'm going to climb up on my soap box tonight & there are several reasons why so here we go:

We are presently sending $100 Million dollars in aid over to Haiti when we are presently in a RECESSION, & can not stand on our own 2 feet as a country...SEE THE PROBLEM?!
When September 11th occurred, I do not recall (& please if I'm wrong, let me know) see any other country coming to the aid of America?!
What are we doing for the people of our country who are without homes, water, food, jobs struggling through their own disasters??

For the life of me I just can NOT understand how in the world we can send that kind of money over for aid (not that I don't think we should help, please understand that I know they need help & we should WHERE WE CAN) but we are still having a massive percentage of job loss across the nation each month, problems with corporations handing out big bonuses with the bailout money they were given by the government with our tax dollars instead of using them to fix the problems that got them into this mess to begin with??

In my state, actually my town & the town over, we have 1 of the highest unemployment rates across the nation somewhere around 19%?! See what I mean, where is the aid for my state, to replenish jobs, aid in foreclosures, housing?? In a big city just north of here there is a woman & her 4 year old little girl who were on the news & they are homeless, why? Job loss! So why are we not helping her out??

As for 9/11 I do not remember any country coming to our aid when we were ATTACKED on our own soil (mind you now that was not a natural disaster), we stood & retaliated by helping our own & going overseas to fight & show that we were not going to take any sort of back door, sneak up behind you because we don't have the balls to hit you from the front, sort of mentality. Where was our help? That was the MOST tragic thing I had witnessed in my 20 years of living in this beautiful country & even though I did not have anyone in those buildings or planes my heart aches at the loss of those people!!

We make it such a prominent news story when there is a disaster in another country, that we seem to forget that there are people right here, just outside your door that have no home, food, water, clothes! Do you know how hard it is to go to bed every night not knowing if the next day will be the last day you are in your house? Do you know how hard it is going to bed every night & wonder endlessly what bill can wait & which one should I pay? I do & let me tell you it's not easy for any one...the government looks at me like, eh, well she'll get by just fine...how am I supposed to tell a 5yr old, 2 yr old, & 10mth old that?? What are we doing to help our own citizens, our own neighbors, our own community??

I stand up on this soap box to say this "We first must help those in need right outside our front doors & in our back yards before we can begin to help others, because if we shove those closest to us aside, just to make sure we don't look bad in the light of a disaster for another country, because we did not help, what are we saying to those who are here & going through their own disaster, those that we are NOT helping?!

My Review of : Philips GoGear ViBE 4GB Video MP3 Player with 1.5" LCD

2010-01-16T14:40:00.001-05:00

The Phillips GoGear Vibe 4GB Video MP3 Player with a 1.5” LCD screen is a quality buy for all non tech-savvy consumers. The MP3 player is about 4.5 inches in height and 2.5 inches in width, weighing in at somewhere around 1ounce. The player holds up to 900 MP3 tracks including any songs downloaded from music off of a CD. A built-in microphone for voice recording, FM radio with 20 preset stations, 25 hours of music playback, 4 hours of video playback, ability to directly charge by USB port from your computer make this player a miniature version of what I would like to call ‘minitainment (miniature + entertainment) at your fingertips.’
When I first used the product I was somewhat set back by all the resource folders on the main menu screen. Once I began playing with the MP3 player I realized it was anything but difficult, it was just the opposite, completely user-friendly.
From the main menu you can access music, videos, pictures, FM radio, recordings, folder view, and settings which include date and time adjustments, sleep timer, language, slide show settings, and much more.
For the screen to only be 1.5 inches it is a very crisp, clear screen resolution. I do not know that I would recommend watching any videos on here if you have below 20/20 eye vision, but for pictures this would be a great resource. I downloaded several pictures of my children with ease and was very impressed by the picture quality on the screen.
The only downfall of this product is the use of the keys. The key pad is extremely small and if you have big fingers or are trying to use this in dark lighting it is very difficult to see. You can very easily hit one button while trying to hit another, it just takes a while to figure out what works best.
If you are new to the MP3 player world and would like a product that is user-friendly this is the product for you. Phillips made this product with children, seniors, and non tech-savvy consumers in mind. If you are someone who has no problem handling all the extras, buttons, and instructions galore that go into a pricey MP3 player, you will not find that in this player.

Okay, like my review? Looking for an MP3 Player? Want to find where you can purchase one...follow this link to check it out online at Walmart.com.... Phillips GoGear Vibe 4GB Video MP3 Player

One of the many lonely struggles of being a single mommy!

2010-01-15T21:11:00.001-05:00

Okay so I knew that when I left my husband it was going to be hard, especially with 3 kids, but I think I underestimated just how ~~hard~~. Let me start over, I was single long before I left him a little over a month ago considering I have always gotten up with the kids since the day they were all born.

My youngest was sick this past week with something awful: fever, no appetite, sleeplessness, cranky, diaper rash, & ear problems. Ugh! As if that wasn't enough to send any mother screaming, I have school & I'm up until at least midnight every night then up again the next morning by 6am.

Gee, doesn't that sound just delightful ;)

Okay I'm done moping now. Anyways when I was still with my husband (albeit that was only a little over a month ago) I was a single mother for several years before that.

You know what though, I would have loved (actually still do) to just once when a child is sick NOT have to get up with them & get a full nights sleep. Really, its not that I don't love each one of my children more than I could ever explain, its just I haven't had a full nights sleep in over 5 years now. When I planned on having children I NEVER planned on doing it all by myself! *What single mother does, right?!

He's breastfed & will be 10 months tomorrow so he would wake up at least 1 time a night to nurse, normally. This past week from Tuesday until last night Thursday I was awakened at least 6 times from midnight until 6am, AHHH! That is so insane that I can not even believe that I functioned the next day for a utter lack of rest.

I know they say a mother can stretch on when her children need her, but isn't it also true that I too need to be at my ultimate level so I can be the best mother for my children.

I've thought of trying to start an organized play group for some stay at home mommies in my area (its a REALLY small town) so that we could get to know one another, get out of the house, & just get a break. *You know when you put kids together its easier to focus on something else, well at least when their not siblings, lol!

So my lonely struggle for this week as a single mommy was actually one that I had been handling all along, just hadn't noticed.

SLEEP DEPRIVATION!!

Kids Do the Darndest Things

2010-01-14T09:59:00.000-05:00

Okay so I have never really been a fan of the whole potty training thing...I know you're thinking you have 3 kids, why would you NOT want them to be potty trained? Well its not that I don't want them to be potty trained its just that my kids are so STUBBORN & very independent to the point that its annoying, because I can NEVER teach them anything!

So my 2 oldest are potty trained, with the oldest being able to take himself to the bathroom (or so I thought) & the middle one needing assistance to get on and off the toilet as well as wiping. Last night, my brother took the middle one (Brooke) to the bathroom, flushed the toilet then walked out. I went in after to use the restroom & what do I see but a toilet on the verge of FLOODING! UGH!

I call him in there & promptly say 'where's the plunger?' *Not my house, my mother's & we've only been here a little over a month, so I still don't know where everything is.* He looks at me confused & my mother yells across the house 'we don't have one!' WTF! How do you have a bathroom & NOT have a plunger?! This is something I will never understand for as long as I live.

So the toilet stays backed up through the night, after failed attempts to make it go down by messing with the tank & all those 'contraptions' that make up the inner workings of a toilet. My mother & brother get up this morning & head off to the hardware store, just 5 minutes downs the road (in a small town like this, trust me we are blessed to have even that, the closest Wal-mart is 30 minutes either way). They come back & my mother proceeds to try to 'plunge' the toilet stating she knows what she's doing & my brother doesn't.

This is a new plunger mind you, NEVER used & has NOT been broken in. She flushes & gets ready to plunge, with failed attempts she is frantically plunging & finally after about 8 good plunges, during just 1 flush, she gets it to go down. LMBO :) I was cracking up, cause she was like 'I am woman hear me roar!' Then she can't even get the plunger to work, lol!

Okay so as for the 'Kids Do the Darndest Things' part, why was it backed up?? Toilet paper, my 5 year old, who should be able to go to the bathroom by himself, continually proceeds to use about 20 sheets of toilet paper EACH time he goes to the bathroom to wipe his rearend, ugh!! So you see my dilema. I have told him SO many times, you don't need that much if you wipe it like mommy told you, your rearend will get clean. His response 'mama, I don't want to get poopy on my hand, that's why I use so much!'

Well thank goodness that he doesn't want to play with poop! I mean so many kids today just don't care, they even eat it. Ventured to the park one day & saw a kid sticking his hands down the back of his pants & putting whatever he was brining out back into his mouth, YUCK! I guess there is one benefit to that thought pattern, it is a form of recycling :0

York Peppermint Pattie

2010-01-13T23:14:00.000-05:00

I have ALWAYS loved a 'York peppermint pattie' ! I love the commercials, you know the ones I'm talking about where they say 'When I bite into a York peppermint pattie I get the sensation of skiing down a mountainside in the Swiss Alps!'

"Well honestly when I bite into a York peppermint pattie I get the sensation that I am in a nice cold swimming pool on a hot southern July day, free of children, and no stresses in the world!"

I love them SO much that today at the grocery store I bought 5 of them and I'm eating the last one now! I know I know, how am I EVER gonna get to my New Year's resolution?! Well let me tell you at this point, I'm OKAY with not reaching that resolution in the bliss of this candy. After the week I have had I'm not sure I care about resolutions anymore.

If you have NEVER had a York peppermint pattie, PLEASE OH PLEASE, give yourself the pleasure & go pick one up today, you will not be disappointed!

Wait remember though it says 'peppermint' in the title so if you are one of those few people who do not like peppermint, move on....and save those yummy 'Calgon, take me away' treats for me, I assure you I will eat your share!

Being Proud!

2010-01-11T22:26:00.000-05:00

For all of you out there with children, grandchildren, or heck even pets you know what it means to be proud! Well I never thought in my adult life that I would say I was proud of my daddy for anything other than being a wonderful father. Today was that day & I promise I could NOT be any prouder of anyone else than I am my daddy right now!

He started a new chapter in his life today & went knowing that when its said & done he's going to be a better man, husband, father, & friend!

My father is an alcoholic & I say this in hopes that each & every person that reads this sends up a prayer for him. Today he went to detox & will soon be going to rehab once the detox is finished, and let me tell you this was a BIG step for him on so many levels.

You know for years I would defend him to my mother & say he's not an alcoholic, even a few years after I graduated I was still in the mindset that he was okay & nothing was wrong, even tho I had seen so much for so many years.

I don't know what it took for me to see or hear that brought me to the realization that he was indeed an alcoholic, but I knew & from that day forward my life was never the same. I had the fear of loosing him on so many levels. I knew he could die from health problems, die in an accident, kill someone & go to jail, or just go to sleep one night & never wake up. I couldn't take that any more & wasn't going to watch him kill himself.

I knew that he needed to know & that I should tell him how I felt with no looking back for him to see what it was that he was doing to us. I was harsh, possibly even mean, but damnit he listened & I'm glad for every word that I said to him that got through, even just a little bit.

I am scared! Scared for who he will be when he comes home, scared for the parts of him that I might loose along the way of this healing process. I know that he will be so much better for what he 's doing & going through, but will I know the daddy that comes home & will he still love me his 'Scooter' & will we still be so much alike in so many ways. Will he still wear his heart on his sleeve just like he taught me, will be that people person who doesn't meet a stranger, will he always tell me 'I love you' each & every day?? I hope that somehow he finds a piece of himself that I never knew & brings it back with him so that I can know more about the man he used to be before me & the alcohol, the monster that robbed me of so many precious moments with my daddy, the evil that consumed him to the point of breaking up a marriage one that was so unfairly destroyed. My parents aren't together anymore so I cherish the separate moments I have with each of them, more than you know! I imagined my adulthood so differently from how it has turned out. I imagined my kids going back to the house I grew up in to visit with my parents sitting hand in hand together, waiting on their grand babies.

Instead I have an extended family, with a step-mother & grandmother, whom I adore dearly. I believe they are both so good for my daddy in so many ways. They love him regardless of this horrible, life consuming, monsterous (my brother said it best) disease. For those of you that think alcoholism isn't a disease, do not be ignorant for one more second. I too thought it was just 'a choice'. It is anything but a choice & I know firsthand from watching my father slowly change into someone I don't know anymore.

I took some sweet pictures today while daddy was here for lunch & I would love to share them with you...I won't get to see him for a while, but I will get to talk to him!

Sweetest pictures I've ever taken were those of my parents loving on my children...I couldn't imagine it any other way!!

Alcoholism is a disease & if you or someone you know is addicted & consumed by this please get help, if you don't know where to turn, PLEASE ask for help...someone loves you & they deserve to have you around & YOU deserve to live your life to the fullest...not controlled by something that doesn't have a brain!!

Loving It!

2010-01-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

You know things have been absolutely crazy around here since last Friday (& that's why I have not blogged)! Anyways, I have been running around like a chicken with school starting back for me & Austin, Ethan is getting a new tooth in, mama going in the hospital, J.R. coming home, & trying to love on my little girl as much as I can. *WOW, that was a long sentence :)

Okay so I've taken pictures and not sure where I'm going with this blog but here goes...

I am loving it! Being a mommy, crazy as it gets some days, I love every bit of it. There is NEVER a dull moment in my life & to me I wouldn't have it any other way. So here are some of the festivities going on around my house...

Brooke dressed up as "Sleeping Beauty" in her new dress up clothes...gotta love her she is a girlie girl!!

Ethan napping on his nanny when he was so fussy with his new tooth coming in, too sweet!

Here she is (needing a haircut) cheesing in true Brooke style, while carrying her new Princess CD Player (that's the strap around her neck)!

He just loves his new farm door Santa brought!

In my high chair after lunch...he loves tags, so that's what he's chewing on!

Has to be the sweetest thing I've ever seen. This was tonight, my brother (younger by 7 years) took my daughter into the bathroom, sprayed her hair with detangler, combed it out & dryed it :) Isn't is just so sweet!!

I swear he's not on anything! I prep him for the picture, yet he still looks like this ;)

Okay so that is what the last week has been like, just a bunch of nothing & some fun along the way. I am exhausted from everything, with mama in the hospital for those 3 days, me going back to school, doing all the housework, and getting no sleep (*hoping the sleep fairy will drop by SOON & sprinkle Ethan so he will finally sleep all night)...

The pain its still there, not sure if it will ever go away, but I'm strong & I know that in time things will begin to change, I just have to P.U.S.H. forward (pray until something happens)!

The Beginning

2010-01-01T20:51:00.000-05:00

I know the only way to find my new path in life is to start at the beginning. I must make sure to never skip a step or leave anything or anyone behind. I am going to do it my way & what works for me...if you wish to follow & be there with me & we are meant to be then I will see you at the ending. Hopefully tho that ending won't be for a very long time...but in the mean time, let us learn to be friends again.

What is a friend? A friend is someone you can rely on, trust, depend on. A friend will love me & be my rock, my shoulder to cry on...can you be that for me?? I hope so! We have shared so much together & had so many good times along the way. A family is the blessing God bestowed upon us & yet we have seemed to muss it up along the way. I know that it is only by the grace of God we made it this far.

I know an 'ex' is an 'ex' but I know that if it is true love you & I will always find our way together. We both seemded to have lost our way somewhere down this crooked path we've been walking & I intend on finding the directions back to where I want to end up. I hope that you find yours as well...I don't want to hike on this trail without you, I want you to see the sunrise with me too...to hold my hand & let me fall asleep on your should...but I want love & safety, most of all safety!!

Stability, safety, & comfort is what I need...stability in a job (in light of the poor shape of our current economy), safety that knows you are my protector not my abuser (love me don't fight me), comfort to know that we are always comfortable together regardless of the disagreement taking place.

Be my best friend & never leave my side, always hold my hand no matter how upset we are...no matter how many tears we shed or ugly words we throw be with me...but first find yourself...I'll wait for you if you wait for me. Be my friend until the end, walk with me through lifes struggles & joys...I don't want anyone else...but I don't want nor will I go back to what we were. It will take time & time I'm going to take because this time it's going to be done right...not with or in haste but patience & love!!

Follow me to the beginning, through the middle, and straight around the end!

The End of A Changing Year

2009-12-31T17:27:00.000-05:00

This year was one of love, hate, chaos, drama, tears, compassion, fear, anger, terror, laughs, fun, trips, lost jobs, new lifes, lots of changes & so much more! I have come full circle from the person I was at the beginning of this year & I am starting a completely new chapter in my life. I have learned & learned again that life is what you make of it. I know that the decisions we make will have a determination in the next stone we step onto down the path we are taking, but I honestly believe that our lives are compliation of where we have been & who we have been around.

My children are watching me struggle with lack of sleep & energy so that I can study hours into the night & early morning. I know that in 3 years when I walk across the stage with my 3 children in the audience & they watch me get my Master's Degree, it will be one of the proudest days of my life!

I know that going into this year I am a single mother, something I NEVER planned for nor wanted, but here I am starting a new year & new decade as a single mother of 3 children, 5 years of age & under, no real home of our own & without so much. Yet what we do have is love & each other! I know that I wouldn't spend the beginning of this year any other way...with my babies!

We are 4 strong & will stick together, through it all! I know its going to be tough, & we will have to jump many holes along the way to find the finish line, but I know that I can do it, I can feel it within me so deep that I cry every time I think about it.

I am strong, I am loved, I am funny, I am compassionate, I am me, I am a friend, I am a mother, I am a sister, I am a daughter, I am a step-daughter, I am a grand daughter, I am a neice, I am a Christian saved by the grace of God, I am a fighter, I am a best friend, I am the person who knows that she needs to keep on in order to find herself & accomplish her goals & find her dreams! I am me...Katrina B. Smith

Part of the Chaos

2009-12-28T20:51:00.000-05:00

Today I talked with the 'ex' to try and set up a date & time to exchange gifts with the kids (he was in the hospital with supposed gall bladder problems) and it turned into one HUGE argument!!

I am so tired of the drama that I could just spit nails & put up an entire house with them!! I was kind of feeling sorry for him that I was keeping in touch with him, but after today that is going to be cut from my list of 'I Cares!'

I called him & said lets meet up Wednesday at McDonald's, because mama has to run into town and pay a few bills. I told him I would call him when we got to town, so he could head that way as we were paying the bills. According to DSS, I can not leave the children with him. His visitation must be in a public place while I am there and he can not leave with them. That of course was NOT good enough!

It turned into yet ANOTHER drag out fight about him blaming 'me' for his anger management issues & violent tendencies towards the kids & myself, WTF?! That always had thrown me for a loop because why can't you just admit you are wrong and quit blaming everyone else for why you act the way you do. He has never gave a damn about us or anything we needed much less wanted so why now?!

I don't understand how when something you truly want in the beginning and is right there in front of you leaves you because of your lack of self control & commitment to being a strong 'father' & 'husband' that you back down? How can you want to give yourself these titles when other people need to hear it, but yet you can't contribute to the duties of your title & truly be a part of the family you seem to so 'desperately' want?!

I cared once upon a time & felt really guilty, even thought somewhere down the road we 'might' get back together...HELL NO!! What was I thinking, I can't believe that I tried so hard & put my whole heart full of emotions made just for you into that relationship only for you to NEVER put forth the same effort! It always had to be your way or no way...never thinking of how that makes someone else feel, or how that affects someone elses life. "I'M OVER IT!" You can't control me anymore, I can be without you, I can breathe without you, I can feel without you, I can love without you, I can walk without you, I can be ME without you! One day some man will want ME for who I am & he will cherish me, love me, protect me, & NEVER EVER hurt me for any reason!

Who I am

2009-12-27T20:30:00.000-05:00

I guess to start to answer this question there are a few things that I must first state. This is the sort of question that has an ever changing answer. I mean almost daily my 'duties' or the 'definition' of who I am changes. Why? I'm sure that's what you are asking, well it's because my life is always changing and each day brings a new adventure or nightmare, just depends on how you look at it. Honestly, each day I wake up I never really know what is going to happen, where I will end up, who is going to need what out of me, what I am going to feel like doing, or where the day will lead me.
Today I had a very new title added on to the everlasting list that defines 'Who I am.' That new title was 'mouse killer?!' I know someone of you are like 'what you just set a trap out?' NO! My mother who has a cat (that's where we stay currently, due to the newly 'single' status) put the cat outside and while in the process of feeding the cat, comes inside and says 'Trina, come look at Pepper (the cat) it looks like she has a bird or something!' So I go outside and see the cat at the bottom of the ramp and hear this 'squeaking' while she is madly batting something around. I walk down the ramp and see that she has a baby mouse, I mean this thing can't be any longer than 2 to 2 1/2 inches long and about 2 inches in height. Its the cutest thing I've ever seen and she is playing with it, not hurting it, just doing her duty as a cat. Well my mama can't stand a mouse (no matter the size) and doesn't like them in the house.
Now before I go any further let me tell you we live in the woods, *the driveway is about 1 mile back in the woods, on 8 acres of land in the middle of a no-where town, so we are going to have mice! So now she see's that the cat is not going to kill the mouse and it is very close to the house. She says 'Trina kill it, its going to get in the house.' So jokingly I say get the shovel and I'll hit it (mind you I've never killed anything on purpose in my life, other than a bug). She goes and gets the shovel and says 'here hit it with the shovel?!' OMG! I was mortified because she was serious, so I close my eyes and swing away...it was heart breaking! However, I must do what the 'mother hen' tells me. Now I know some of you 'animal lovers' out there are cursing me to high heaven right now, but trust me I love animals. I've always had a dog, usually don't mind animals as long as they don't bother me, but I live with someone else and am cared for by someone else (she provides the basics, since I don't have a job, only school) so I must comply.
That brings my newest title to 'mouse killer!' What will tomorrow bring...Lord only knows...maybe it will be 'Millionaire'...one can always dream right!

Birthdays-->Your Special Day

2009-12-23T21:35:00.000-05:00

I know this is such a boring topic, but it means a lot to me and always has. Today is my birthday...'Yeah for me!! WOOT WOOT! Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me!'...Okay I'm off my soap box now, on to the good stuff. So I have always thought that birthdays are each individual person's most special day of the year. There is no 'one' person that shares a birthday with anyone else...'I know you're thinking she's crazy,' but hear me out. Although there are probably 'millions' of people born on the same day as you..there is no other 'one' or more people born on the same day, time, year, day of the week, month, and second as you. Honestly if there was some way to catalog the birthday's of the world I bet you couldn't find one pair that matched exactly.

I believe that God infinitely picked out the exact specifics for each and everyone of us just to make that moment in time special for us and to me that is the most special gift we could ever receive. I mean most everyone celebrates Christmas, Halloween, Valentine's day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, and so on; but your birthday is the one day of the year that you can bask in the glory that is your life. Despite all the things that you think are 'horrible' in your life, please remember it could be worse you could 'not' be here...or you could have the life of say someone in prison or say someone with a life much less blessed than your own. It's a day when you get to hear birthday wishes, love and concern from your friends and family & to me that is so special. If I never got another gift on another birthday I would be 'A' okay, and let met tell you all I got in the way of a gift was 2 packs of socks (*no I'm not kidding). So honestly I come from nothing but yet I have so much and feel so blessed!!

So the next time you think that a birthday is just another day remember that it is the complete opposite of that and so much more! You are special & important in so many ways to so many people and you matter, no matter how bad you think life is right now (*trust me I'm one to know) it can ALWAYS get so much worse. I feel completely blessed to have a birthday, even though it is right there with Christmas and so many people do forget it (even those in my family) but that's okay because I know I'm loved & thought about by so many and I appreciate that in so many ways. I know that despite my current trials that the Lord has blessed me beyond what I acknowledge Him for and sometimes I feel ashamed of the lack of thanks that I give to Him for all those blessings; but I know that what I have received in the way of gifts is no greater than my birth & the salvation that I was provided. Jesus was born unto this earth just as you & I, He walked this earth & lived just the same, then for us He died so that we could spend eternity in Heaven and not spend it in hell...I could not think of a greater gift than that...so on that note..."Lord I thank you for my salvation for the most precious present I will ever receive on this day of my birth, your love that was so enormous that you gave your only son to die for my sins and give me everlasting life!!"

Stupid Criminals

2009-12-22T21:48:00.001-05:00

Okay I know this is an overrated subject, but I must touch on it in light of the stories in the news today. In my area there was a robber who frequented banks over the last 5 years, his name "The Bearded Bandit?!" WTF?...Okay he wore some sort of facial (mostly beards) with hats, glasses, different color clothes...and the police after 5 years said they couldn't up until recently tell their 'race' ? Seriously by their nose, cheeks you couldn't tell what color they were?? I could see CLEARLY in every surveillance video from the banks what 'race' they were.

I guess my biggest question would be to the criminals..."What brought you to rob these banks...and did you think you would get away with it?" Apparently so, and really did you think you were Jesse James...cause you're not, lol!! Sometimes I wonder how stupid you have to be to disguise yourself, rob the bank with a note that says 'put all the money in the bag,' then on the other side of the note is 'your check' with 'your name, address & phone number' WTF?? I mean if I were going to rob somewhere I would wrap myself in saran wrap (no DNA transfer), wear a shower cap (can't leave hairs behind), gloves (for no finger prints), shoe covers (so they can't trace the kind of shoe I wear), a helicopter (so they can't chase me in my get away, *which when you think about it, if you can afford a helicopter, why are you robbing a bank?) Seriously cover ALL your bases before you go doing something stupid and taking a HUGE chance on ruining your life, your family's life, and other people's lives!!

Now as for what drives these people to do these 'stupid' events...my ex's uncle was paying child support and the state he was paying through was said to 'rob a man blind to pay child support', essentially leaving the man no money to live off of...he felt so overwhelmed and had no money that he robbed a bank! WTF!! *I know this should have been my first sign to a dysfunctional family and that I should 'STAY AWAY!' Anyways why rob from the bank, 'where you gonna take it to the family court and say here I want to pay off the rest of my child support, or were you gonna use it to live off of?'

Next, your predecessors didn't get away with it, what makes you any different or more 'criminal like' that you will get away with it? I mean did you come up with some 'wicked' plan that is going to revolutionalize the way a robbery takes place, so that all current & future criminals can get away with this 'master plan' as well?! YOU'RE CRAZY...You will be caught like all those before you...WHY?...because most places that have money have surveillance cameras and they have this thing called a recording that they can go back and look at to look at your 'mug shot' so they can one day *hopefully sooner then later, pick up your 'criminal mind' and put your behind bars!!

Girl World..If You Are Raising a Girl This is Important!

2009-12-21T22:05:00.000-05:00

So on today's Dr. Phil show he spoke on the 'Girl World.' Now for those of you who don't know what that is, and if you were born in the late 70's and up you will know what it is. The 'Girl World' is the hateful, demeaning, depressing, suicidal, sickening, insanely childish world of 'The Mean Girls!' If you've seen that movie 'The Mean Girls' starring Lindsay Lohan you get somewhat of an idea of what I'm talking about, but that movie put it in a much lighter context.

Here's is the link to Dr.Phil's show today Girl World..Monday Dr.Phil Show . Now I'm going to tell you some of the things I heard on this show just made me sick to my stomach. There was one girl who said that in the 'second 2nd grade' she was bullied by a group of girls who called her a 'slut,' OMG! What second grader knows what a slut is, much less is using the word to threaten or demean another little girl. I didn't even know the word much less would I have used it for any reason at the age. My first question is 'WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?' Honestly I know we all have to work and make a living and provide the life our children are living, especially if we are single parents, but ladies 'especially' we must ensure that our little girls are not these BULLIES! I would be absolutely ashamed & embarassed to know that my girl at any age was a bully and hurting someone's feelings all just to 'fit in?!'

I know it happens everywhere, but that does not mean that as parents we should stand by and let our children to deal with it or learn to cope, because sometimes the bullying can go way to far and the results are deadly!! I would never condone my child nor let them get away with bullying no more than I am going to just sit by and wait while 'you, slacker of a parent' do nothing because you think that your child is standing up for themself or 'oh kids will be kids,' you would not be saying that if the shoe was on the other foot. Get a hold on your child and teach them that in order to one day be a respectable adult they should first be a respectable child and that means treating their peers (regardless if they like them or not) with the same respect that they wish to receive.

Mothers, we must strive to raise our daughters to be strong women, NOT cruel women! These girls that are today bullying by words, fights, or cyber bullying are the people who will one day be teaching my grandchildren or their children may be interacting with my children...the thought just makes my skin crawl. Not for the sake of the child, but the absolute disregard that the parent 'who has a bully for a child' displays when they are approached with the fact that their child is a bully. Deal with it, don't be ashamed, talk with them, help them to understand that this is not the way to carry yourself today or any day in the future.

It's so bad that girls will get into fights 'with their bullee' just to show how big of a 'bullier' they are...watch I'm going to search youtube right now and very quickly pull something up to post for you...Crazy Teenage Girls...Girl World . This is absolutely insane I can't believe that girls can be so cruel, honestly I would hope that if I were this girl that I didn't see each one of them on the street individually some day cause let me tell you they have a serious a$$ wooping coming! So please stand up teach your girls & help them to understand this is not the way to solve things!!

Christmas Spirit & What I want in you?

2009-12-20T22:17:00.000-05:00

So I am always in the Christmas spirit, usually before Thanksgiving but always by the first of December. Since moving in with my mother because of the split between my ex- and myself, she herself has not be in the Christmas spirit. This of course draining the life out of me and causing me to feel quite 'seasonally depressed.' Anyways I am not a depressed kind of person, I usually cry some to get the feelings out then move on to another day.

I went to get a few things from the house today, things I had been procrastinating to pick up because I did not want to see my ex, knowing that when I did he was going to do it again. I knew that after this 2 1/2 week haitus of being with out his 'family' he would see the error of his ways and try to 'sweet talk' me back into his arms. Well each time I have been so niave and just fell for him, God how it hurts to see him cry because I know that he hurts. It breaks my heart to know he's alone, but what about all those times I was alone, wishing he was there, and not over at his friends house. What about all those times I cried and he didn't care or called me a 'cry baby' ? I know that in my heart I love him, but I hate who he has become and I can not for the life of me continue to subject my heart & soul to this kind of punishment. I know that I am not the easiest person to get along with but under the circumstances I was dealing with I think that I lasted longer than most women would have.

I yearn to be loved, cared for, looked at in that way that just makes your heart skip a beat because you know that the person looking back at you is so in love with you that it hurts them. I want that touch in the middle of the night that says I'm here and I'll always be here, don't be afraid. I want that hug that makes all of my fears & worries just fade away, like no matter the sitaution or downfall we can make it through together. I want honesty, stability, trust, communication, understanding, and most of all a love for God. That love that is not jealous, understands when you need to be alone, understands when you need a should to cry on, knows when you need a tissue, and knows when you need to scream. I want to feel needed and be wanted, to be someone's everything and everything they've never had. I want to stop hurting so bad that I won't have to hide my tears from my babies any more. I want a love so true, so real, that it last forever, through the end to that porch with rocking chairs & sweet tea at the sun sets, knowing that whatever happens we have each other. I want you...whoever you are...wherever you are...I want you to know I'm here...I am waiting to be loved & love in return with everything I have inside of me...to the end...just be honest with me no matter what & provide as a man should, because I will be the love of your life if you just let me.

I need a best friend, someone who first looks out for me in the world and can rely on me just as I rely on them. I need that comforter, that protector, that lover who never waivers his faith and loyalty, he never betrays or misleads. He is only honest and compassionate to the feelings that I wear on my sleeve. I want someone who loves children, who knows that a mothers place is first to her children, and will always be to their needs & interests. A best friend who can look out for you & look over your should when no one else can be bothered.

Do I dare to think this exists for me? I don't know, I may never know. However, I know that I will strive to be the best mother I can be by providing for them, which means finishing school with the best grades I can & getting in a career that I know will provide for us & make me a happier mommy. I know that either way I will always be loved unconditionally, because God has given me the most promising, wonderful, fruitfully beautiful blessings anyone could ever ask for and those three gifts are my children. Thank you Jesus for those blessings which are my children & all the love that they provide with each smile, hug, kiss, touch, or I love you mommy!

Christmas w/ the Extended Family

2009-12-19T22:16:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying that I have a very 'weird' relationship with my step-mother and her family, on top of the 'weird' relationship that my mother & step-mother have. What is that 'weird' relationship you ask? Well we are all close, my mother & step-mother are 'BEST FRIENDS', yes I said it. I frequent my step-mother's family get togethers as if I were blood kin and no one thinks any different.

So tonight we were off to the 'Blackmon Family Christmas Party,' where we entertained ourselves with good food, presents, and family company. I love getting together with my step-mother's family for so many reasons, but the main reason is that her mother 'Granny Ruth' treats myself & my children just as if we were her own. She never thinks twice about calling me her granddaughter or my children her great grandchildren and it just lights my heart up because they do not have my ex's mother in their life (nor will they ever) and I believe a child needs all the 'good' kind of love they can come by, especially when parents separate.

The next reason I enjoy getting together especially at Christmastime is the 'little balls of heaven wrapped in chocolate' that Granny Ruth makes...OMG!! Their real name is 'Martha Washington balls'. They are wonderful to the point of I will fight you for the last one, I'm gonna give you a pic.

Anyways so I took a few pictures of the goings on with presents being opened and such. I'm sure everyone knows that with the economic state of our country at this moment that $$ is scarce for pretty much everyone so the only people that got gifts were the children. I am so glad that my children do not get toys regularly throughout the year because when their Birthday's & Christmas come they are so much more grateful for what they do receive and are able to show a great deal of gratitude for what the person gave them regardless of the amount spent on the present.

As for what I got out of today I learned that family is not based solely on last names, DNA, or blood lines...but on who you love and who takes care of you & vice versa. Its the people that are always there for you through thick and thin, regardless of the situation and will drop what they are doing to make it to you. Thank you God for the blessing that is my WHOLE family!!

The Chaos That is Love

2009-12-18T20:24:00.000-05:00

You know today started out pretty bad considering none of the kids slept very well and I knew that I had to get up fairly early so Austin and I could head out to pick up his present for the preschool Christmas party, but all in all I feel so blessed it brought me to tears tonight.

I know that as I go through my day I always seem so frazzled, frustrated, disgusted, exhausted and just plain ready to give up but as the night falls and the kids settle into their bedtime routines...I watch them and notice that they are mine and even though becoming a single parent was NEVER something I had ever wanted or planned it has become one of the best blessings in disguise. Although most parents would think how could you feel blessed at being as a single parent of 3 children 5 years of age and under?? Let me tell you how.

My daddy came by today because Ethan had his 9 month check up and he was going to pick Austin up from preschool, so he needed his booster seat. Well the kids see my daddy about 1 to 2 times a month and a lot of the time my step mother is around or he's preoccupied by something so they usually don't get a lot of 'Paw' time and today Brooke got just that some 'Paw' time.

Sweetest thing I've ever seen is my daddy loving on the miniature version of me. It's amazing that she looks just like me and I can see my daddy wanting to not make the mistakes with her that he made with me. It's wonderful that my children have so much love around them, I know that with the impending future of what will most definitely happen between my ex-in-laws and myself is going to be huge and I just want my children to always feel loved & safe, no matter what.

So Ethan was a gem at the doctor weighing in at a wopping 18lbs 14oz. at only 9 months, which is the 75th percentile. That does sound big, but compared to my older two at that age he is actually small. Everything else came within range and the doctor only said he was big because he was getting plenty of milk, most babies by his age are not nursing as much so it's good that he weighs what he does to be breastfed.

What did I learn today?? I learned that as hard as it is and always will be to raise these children alone there will NEVER be anything else in my life as rewarding as the love they give me in return. I know that I'm not supermom and won't contend to be, however, I will strive to be the best I can knowing that I will struggle, fall, and make mistakes but that my children will never go without...never be harmed...and always be LOVED!!

Here is Ethan awaiting to go into the doctor's, they were going to give him shots today, but since he was already *crazy ill, I decided to wait until January...which the nurse said was fine, since they were not really necessary until his 12 month.

Ugh!!! What a day ;)

2009-12-17T21:12:00.000-05:00

Okay so today was one of those days that every stay at home mother has nightmare's of! It started with my 9 month old just not cooperating in any way that normally makes sense and continually screaming, crying, or just whining. I know you're saying well he's just 9 months, but let me tell you this boy does not have these kinds of days. He is normally (*unless he is hungry or wet) the kind of baby that just plays by himself, smiles and laughs at just about everything. Here are some pictures of what I'm talking about:

Okay so as you see that is my boy, in the second one he is with his Nana, which is the absolute sweetest pic I have ever seen ( he looks just like my brother & daddy combined, with my eyes & hair). So when he was just an absolute whine box today I was so frustrated :( I nursed him, changed his diaper, rocked him, fed him some baby food, played with him, tried (that's the key word) to lay him down for a nap...but nothing would work. I just got him down now, in the middle of trying to blog...Lord I hope he stays down this time, he's barely slept at ALL today!

So next on the agenda I tried to spend a little time with the two older one's since I kept Austin out of preschool today and thought hey let's color together. Since when asked 'what is your favorite part of school?' Austin then replies "coloring because I get to use markers!" This child absolutely loves to color and although I hate to admit it he did not get that artistic talent or love for art from me. He got that love from the *gem that is his father. His daddy, although my least favorite person in the world, has an incredible talent!! He can draw with any utensil be it pencil, crayon, marker, charcoal with his eyes closed whether he's drawing from memory or just looking at something. I think that Austin has picked it up and hopefully he will hang on to it and use it. So we colored and here's some of the fun, plus a picture of some of the finished products:

Now mind you the coloring was fun, takes me back to the elementary school days when that was the most work you had to put forth, the pain in your hand from coloring so much so fast, lol (you know you remember that pain). Anyways after the fun was over Brooke decides lets pitch some fits so we can drive mama even more insane that she already is from Ethan not being his normal self. This child persists to listen to nothing I say, do nothing I say, pitch fits to the point of making herself sick (all because she was getting down off my lap so I helped her down, she then proceeds to tell me that she wanted on my lap and screams at me, then I put her the hall for a time out, and what does she do...ugh!) so I leave her in the hall for a few minutes until she calms down, then we eat dinner, let me say everyone but her ate dinner, first she says 'my tummy's hurting, I don't want any spaghetti'...so I say okay you want some bread...'yes I want some bread'...I give her the bread, but not before taking off the crust (even on garlic bread she hates the crust) and she just looks at me for a few and says 'I don't want it I'm sleepy'...I clean her off and say go lay down in the rocking chair until mommy is done with her dinner...'no I want some milk'...well I didn't get to the store today so I give her orange juice, she drinks it. Once I'm done I get her and Austin some pj's and they dress within a few minutes she says 'I gotta poop' so we start to the bathroom and I notice that she is walking funny, I get her in there and she has poop in her underwear (mind you not diahrrea but regular poop). Oh my, I was livid by this point, she now has poop on her legs because she wouldn't listen to me about getting the panties off, then I'm trying to clean it off the toilet where it is also at, then for an hour she fights me to go to sleep...UGH!!

Calgon Take Me Away!!

Exercise & How Kids Think :)

2009-12-16T21:27:00.000-05:00

Okay so today Austin was talking about 'exercising.' He gets in these moods where he's really stuck on just one subject and asks lots of questions about it until he's satisfied. Of course, then Brooke has to join in, mostly just doing what Austin does and giving her opinion of the situation. So here is a quick dialog between Austin, Brooke, & myself about exercise:

Me: "Austin, why do we exercise?"
Austin: "So we can be healthy mama."
Me: "What kind of exercises can we do?"
Austin: "Running, walking, jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups...that kind of stuff mama."
Me: "What else can we do to be healthy?"
Austin: "Eat healthy foods like vegetables and fruits."
Me: "What's your favorite vegetable?"
Austin: "The best vegetable in the world mama, a tomato!"
Me: "Good, what's your favorite fruit?"
Austin: "Apples mama, but you know that a tomato is really a fruit too!"
*He's too smart!
Me: "That's right, it is a fruit! Brooke, what's your favorite vegetable?"
Brooke: "Tatoes (potatoes) and carrots."
Me: "Good, those are good vegetables. What's your favorite fruit?"
Brooke: "Apples."
*Every time this girl goes to her Paw & E's house she has to have an apple and trust me she eats the thing whole with practically nothing left but a few seeds in the core.

So here's a few pictures of the kids showing off their 'exercise' skills today. Hope you enjoy!!

Contact Me

2009-11-27T20:56:00.006-05:00

If you have any questions regarding PR/Giveaways, Advertising, or Guest Post please click the link below & make sure to include your name, email address, other contact info, & reason for contact. I will respond to you within 48 hours. Thanks

Email Katrina

PR/Giveaways

2009-11-24T20:50:00.007-05:00

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About Me

2009-11-22T20:48:00.001-05:00

I am a newly single mother to three wonderful children ages 5, 2, & 10 months. My current job is mother/student. I am enrolled in school earning my MBA & should be finished in a little less than two years. This blog started out just as a way to vent my feelings & emotions on the roller coaster that was the separation of my marriage. I have since made many friends & connections that I hope I can continue on with. My blog is still very personal to me, but I am trying a hand at PR/Giveaways. My love for writing extends into almost everything I do, so I thought 'why not use it to help someone else out?!' I am a southern woman who loves the simple things in life & enjoys nothing more than spending time with my children. A warm summer evening spent on a front porch with a cup of sweet tea is the perfect evening to me.

Disclosure

2009-11-12T20:54:00.001-05:00

This policy is valid from 17 January 2010

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